Smokeless Ellen

4 years without a cigarette in May...best thing I ever did.

2012-02-10T14:46:00.000-08:00

It's been over 8 months now since I made an entry on this blog. Gosh...where does the time go? I have been tempted to delete this journey of mine several times but something has always held me back.

I think it may have something to do with the despair I felt in the early days of stopping and the fact that I really didn't know where to go to find like-minded people. I had so many questions and was so curious as to how other people were coping and what to expect. That is why I feel reluctant to remove this blog as I feel it may be a valuable resource to many. Also, there has been so much input from other people that it has a wealth of advice and experience from all over the world.

I always promised myself that I would write a true account of my journey.I was totally honest from the outset and am glad I've stuck to my plan.

I have come across a mixed bag of people, and have had some great feedback and discussion but all have had one thing in common...their need to stop smoking.
What an interesting journey it has been over the last 4 years and I truly hope that people have been informed and encouraged by the joint voices on this blog.

For those who are at the start of their journey, I hope that you manage to become ''smokeless'' like me. It hasn't been easy but it is oh so worth it!

Smiles

3 years since I stopped smoking!!!

2011-05-14T12:00:00.000-07:00

This will probably be the last entry for this blog of mine.

I think I can safely say that I am now an ex-smoker with a low risk of starting again. (Famous last words!)

This blog really helped me to get to grips with stopping smoking and I was at first going to remove it from the www, but I have had a think about it and have come to the conlusion that it may help someone else on their journey to stopping so I have decided to leave it on.

When I first stopped, I searched high and low for honest posts from people in the same position as I was, so I think it only fair that I leave my experience in blog land in the hope that I may well help someone, somewhere on this vast planet of ours.

Good luck you people out there who are just setting out to stopping or are already on their journey.

I kinda know just how you feel, even though we all have an very individual and personal experience.

Goodbye and good luck.

From Marie, the ex-smoker (it's a miracle)

Highly sensitive sense of smell since stopping smoking...

2010-05-25T01:31:00.000-07:00

Since I stopped smoking, (2 years ago now), I seem to have developed a very sensitive sense of smell!
I have always been able to ''smell'' normally, at least I thought so, but having smoked for 25 years, I believe my sense of smell has been impaired.

Everyday household smells have become very strong and overbearing. Spray deodrant is one example, nail polish another. A lot of these common aromas have become offensive to me and I seem to pick up scents that other non-smokers don't!

I also feel like these products are aggravating my nose, throat and chest. In the last 6 months, I have been on red alert to anything that may be inhaled and damage my lungs! After all the years of abuse, it's as if I have made a complete turnaround and want to protect my lungs from any more damage.

The latest ''not nice'' smell is that of some lilies that were part of a bouquet I had kindly been given. I can't stand the fragrance of them at all, and have never really had any aversion to them in the past.

On the plus side, I can now smell garden flowers that I do like on my many walks and am grateful that this sense has returned after many years of smoking.

I now feel like I have an insight as to how sensitive my dog's sense of smell is!

My sense of taste has improved too but not to the noticable degree that the smell has.

I am continually looking for positives to share on my blog re:stopping smoking and will post as and when I realise them.

As always, good luck to all of you who have stopped...it's a battle but a battle worth fighting.

Certificate awarded for 2 years of not smoking...

2010-05-16T15:27:00.000-07:00

2 years without a cigarette...it's a miracle (9th May)

2010-05-13T00:56:00.001-07:00

Well, today is the 2 year landmark and nobody is more shocked than me.

I have just applied for my ''2 year smoking cessation certificate'' which I will post here when I receive it.

I got the following information from the same website...

The Benefits at Two Years Smoke-Free
The improvements to our health and quality of life during the first two years of smoking cessation far surpass what most of us expect when we begin the journey to quit smoking.
According to a 2002 study conducted by researchers at Boston University, smoking relapse rates drop off sharply after two years of smoking cessation, with nearly 80 percent of ex-smokers going on to make their quits permanent.

Looking at the stats at the bottom of my blog page, I HAVEN'T smoked the ''14,608'' cigarettes I would have in the last two years if I had stayed a smoker.

It hasn't been easy and I've had lots of wobbly moments but I am glad I've stopped.
I still have physical cravings and miss the social aspect of smoking but hopefully the more time that passes,the more I am hoping that smoking will become a distant memory.

Good luck to anyone who has quit and those who are thinking about it. It's worth a go.

Let's be honest about stopping smoking and why all the questions about Ellen smoking?

2010-02-25T01:38:00.000-08:00

I have just been looking at the hits I've had recently on this blog and find them interesting. Because my name is Ellen and I've called my blog ''Smokeless Ellen'' I get a lot of hits asking the question ''Does Ellen still smoke?''. I am presuming the Ellen in question is Ellen Degeneres, the talk show hostess...or is it another Ellen?

Why people keep asking the question about Ellen (in the media) makes me wonder.
I would like for someone to explain this to me. All I can think is that she has been a smoker and has or is trying to stop.

When I smoked, I always felt better knowing that certain rich and famous individuals smoked too. I was always looking for reasons to justify my habit!...if you know what I mean.

I saw her recently on American Idol and she looks extremely healthy.

Another hit I get frequently is the ''dry/sore/raw lungs one''.
Of all the after effects of stopping, this has been the worst one for me.I am quite annoyed about this, because when I was searching for answers on ''official'' websites for after effects, there was very little information about this. I know we are all different, but it's obvious to me that there are plenty of people out there who do suffer with this.

I NEVER had this dry/raw/sore lungs when I smoked.

So why on earth don't they make reference to it,even if they can't explain the physical aspects?

Honesty is the best policy and people really do need to know what to expect!

I kept thinking something was very wrong and my anxiety just increased. Just what you need when you are trying to quit!

These websites don't give enough info on the long term after effects. Oh yes, they give all the positives, which is great and inspiring, but not the downside.

I'm a realist and I like to be informed...it's all been a lot harder than it needed to be in my opinion.

Another hit I've noticed is ''feeling crap since quitting''.
People are being honest about how they feel when they do quit so it's only fair that we don't have our intelligence insulted with lack of information.

The ''weight gain after quitting'' issue seems to be common knowledge...but there are many after effects they don't seem to cover for some reason.

Maybe they (the healthy powers that be) think they will put us all off the idea of quitting by listing all the negatives but the majority of people know that ''the not knowing'' is the worst part of any life situation.

You may read this and not agree, it's only my opinion...and as with everything to do with health...if in doubt, seek your doctor's advice.

Anyways...I am still a non-smoker but will continue with this blog for as long as I need to.
Good luck to all you guys out there in the process of stopping...smiles.

Approaching two years since quitting smoking!

2010-01-23T16:35:00.000-08:00

I thought it was high time I updated this blog. I can hardly be an inspiration to others when I don't keep up to date.
Well, where am I at today?

I have finally got rid of that burning feeling in my lungs. I haven't had it for a couple of months now...what a relief, I thought it would never go.

I suppose it's all part of a process...hopefully the ''healing'' process.

People may wonder why I continue with this blog when it's been almost two years since my quit date.
I have always tried to be as honest as possible here and I am not going to change that. I still crave cigarettes, yes, even now. I wouldn't say as regular as every day, but pretty often.I still like the smell and the thought of it, but know that my smoking days are over.

I certainly don't want to ever have to go through the quitting experience again...no thanks.

On New Year's Eve, just gone, I gave a thought for the people about to smoke their last cigarette...I remember smoking mine but honestly didn't believe it could possibly be the last one...but it was.
I surprised myself...very much so.

I doubt I could have done it without writing my blog. I've had some very ''weak'' moments believe me.

I doubt I will ever be a preachy type of ex-smoker...but I would like to think that people could rely on my support if they were trying to quit.

My next post will be at the two year landmark I reckon...I would hate to have a relapse before that date...until then, I wish all you newbie quitters the best of luck.

x x x

My lungs feel ''raw'' since I stopped smoking!

2009-08-14T12:54:00.000-07:00

I don't profess to know what this is or the cause so I may go and see my doctor to see if he can enlighten me!

Of all the ''after effects'', this one is ongoing.
I am going to do my best to describe this feeling and would like to hear from anyone who has similar or has had...

I must firstly say, that I never had this when I smoked, at all.
It's over a year now and I am very much hoping that this will pass.

When I take a breath in, just an ordinary breath, my lungs feel all dried out, like they are withered and parched, maybe they are from all the smoking, but I can't understand why I have this now I have stopped and didn't have it when I smoked. It's not a painful thing, just a raw feeling.Sometimes it feel like my lungs are ''hot''. There is no one thing that can get rid of it either, except maybe having a cigarette.(Don't want to go there)
I tend to carry around several packets of mints but that doesn't get rid of it, just distracts me.

I don't have it all the time, just at random times of the day...it is similar in a way to lung - burn, that sore, dry feeling you get when you've been exercising big time. I used to get that a lot when I was younger and sporty!

I have searched on Google to see what I can find out about this after effect I have and haven't found a great deal.

I'm hoping someone else out there can shed some light upon this...the battle continues.

Feel worse for giving up smoking...14 months down the line.

2009-07-13T15:24:00.000-07:00

This is certainly not an inspirational post...but it is an honest one.
Please do not be discouraged by this post and ensure you read right through until the end.
I have been waiting and waiting and waiting to feel this burst of health and vitality that is supposed to occur when you give up the smokes.
It just hasn't happened.

Apparently, you feel worse before you start feeling better.I reckon that's where I am at right now.

Am I being impatient?
Well, it's 14 months now and I all I have to report is feeling like crap...most of the time.
I may ''smell'' better, and my circulation has improved (more obvious in colder weather) but that's about it.
I feel like I have a continual head cold and just feel permanently ''run down''.

I am not ''celebrating'' quitting but am ''commiserating'' ever having started.

I have just had a nasty chest infection for the last three weeks. I have never had one as bad as that...ever. It has really got me down and made me depressed. Not to mention, sore and breathless...with a cough like no other.It is lingering too...gosh.

I've recently had lung function tests and it's obvious my lungs aren't working as well as they should be.I have been prescribed a Salbutamol reliever inhaler for breathless episodes. I am not sure whether this is lung dysfunction or anxiety.Knowing my luck...it's both.

I have a suspicious looking ulcer in my mouth that won't clear up and am waiting for a dental appointment to have it checked out.Been worried for ages now! Oral cancer is prevalent in smokers...oh great.(have since been to the dentist and the ulcer is nothing sinister...phew)
I have become pre-occupied with the health risks of having been a smoker and it's freaking me out.

A friend who gave up three months before me says she experienced exactly the same and has told me to ''hang on in there''...and so I am. It's way too far down the line to give up giving up...if you know what I mean.

I feel like my immune system has gone A.W.O.L...it seemed to work a lot better when I smoked. I am in no way making excuses to start smoking again...I can't afford it...but am having a good old rant.However, if I got really bad news about my health I reckon I would be straight back to the smokes...

I recently spoke to a workman who gave up 4 years ago and he has been plagued with ill health since. Jeepers. I hope that ain't gonna be me.

I have felt totally deprived for the last 14 months and crave a smoke on a daily basis...it's not good.

The bottom line is...I FEEL LIKE CRAP, excuse the language.
I am not going to lie either...to the big wide world or myself.

I apologise to any smokers in the middle of quitting or them that are thinking about quitting for this negative blog...and would appreciate anyone who is experiencing what I am to leave a comment re: this.

On a more positive note, I have started taking Selenium with A,C and E...to try and boost my immune system.

Would like some feedback on this post.Thanks.

AM TWO YEARS DOWN THE LINE NOW SINCE WRITING THIS ENTRY AND FEEL SO MUCH HEALTHIER THAN WHEN I WROTE THIS. FOR ME, IT'S JUST TAKEN TIME. SOME OF YOU WILL PROBABLY FEEL THE BENEFITS FAR SOONER THAN ME. IT IS VERY MUCH WORTH IT, SO PERSEVERE AND YOU WILL BE REWARDED. GOOD LUCK.

A stopping smoking certificate...

2009-06-15T14:17:00.000-07:00

I kindly received this from a website I visited whilst I was looking for support to stop smoking.
Thought I would post it here...kinda feel like I've earned it.
Smiles...

One year since quitting smoking...and how it is for me.

2009-05-08T08:51:00.000-07:00

What can I say. It's a miracle...
I can't believe it's a whole year since I stopped smoking.
I can't believe I have thought about cigarettes every single day since then!
I have finally stopped putting on weight...what a relief.
I am struggling to get rid of the extra weight but will persevere.
According to the ''stats'' at the bottom of this page, I have not smoked ''7,301'' cigarettes.
I am still having problems with excess phlegm and sore and dry throats.
I haven't had a cough at all...yet! Maybe that's not so good.
I still worry about the damage I have done to my body from 25 years of smoking.
I do however feel less anxious about my health now that I am a non-smoker.
I still crave cigarettes and love the smell of a newly lit cigarette...sigh.
I don't feel any fitter or healthier than I did before I stopped. I can't work out why, maybe it's because I am getting older.
I like saying ''I don't smoke''.
I really wanted to feel better but it's not happened. Maybe it will take longer than 12 months.I am quite disappointed about this aspect of things. I shouldn't have started in the first place.
I hope some part of my blog from the last 12 months inspires or supports someone else to stop smoking.
Good luck everyone.

Almost a year with no cigarettes...

2009-04-22T14:12:00.000-07:00

Well, on the 9th of next month (May)I will have been smoke-free for a whole year!
I can hardly believe that amount of time has passed.

It has not been easy but it has been worth it.

I have no regrets at all. Initially I had this powerful, over-riding feeling of being ''deprived'', without my cigarettes, but now I feel ''relieved'' that I am a non-smoker.

I have had a bit of a struggle with weight gain but at last, the weight I have gained has slowly started to go.
I have managed to lose 5 pounds in the last month...it has been really difficult to get rid of the weight but I am persevering.

Still got a few more pounds to shift though!!!!

I am still waiting to feel ''great'' and that hasn't happened (yet), but we are all different and respond differently. Most people do actually feel great, just not me.

My daughters are a lot less anxious about me these days. Smoking causes anxiety in your children...that is a fact. I am so glad that I have removed this anxiety from their lives.

To all you folks out there who are struggling along right now...keep going...it's so worth it.

Good luck for those people stopping smoking this New Year.

2009-01-04T09:29:00.000-08:00

Good luck to all of you whoever you are. It is early days but try and stick it out. I know it's one of the hardest things to do, as smoking is not just a habit, it's a way of life...but it's worth it.

My blog so far hasn't always been inspiring but deep down I know I have done the right thing in stopping.

My friend who I stopped with had a relapse over Christmas and I was ''oh so close'' to doing the same but something held me back. That ''something'' was the thought of having to go through the hell of stopping all over again.
I am no angel and I was sorely tempted but am so so glad I hung on in there.

The first few days are a nightmare but if you can get through them, you can do the whole ''stopping thing''.

I wish you all the best of luck and hope that this time next year we are all still smoke free.

I have started addressing my post-smoking weight gain this week. Oh yeah!!!
Will write an update in a week or two, hopefully weighing less than I do right now!

Smiles...

Getting more used to life with no cigarettes...

2008-11-22T09:04:00.000-08:00

Well, seven months on and I am getting more used to life without cigarettes.
I still miss the whole smoking thing, still crave them on a daily basis, sometimes forget I have stopped and reach into my handbag for them...but on the whole, am managing without them.

I honestly thought I would feel ''wonderful'' for stopping but I must be one of those people who don't!...more's the pity.

As for the weight gain...well, I have been weighing myself every Monday and for the last four weeks, my weight has stayed the same. No gain and no loss. I think it is going to be difficult to shift this extra weight but I am determined to do it.
I did start to panic as the weight just kept piling on. I really don't want to gain any more...at all.

The colder weather is here and I have noticed the much improved circualtion in my hands. My feet have always been warm, even when I smoked, but my hands, well. Now they are warmer when the cold hits...a sign of improved circulation I'm sure.

Financially, I really don't know where I found the money to buy cigarettes...but you do.
My brother is still smoking and coughs and chokes every morning when he gets up. I hear him, as he's been staying with me for a while. It is really bad...sometimes, he coughs so much, he is sick...but he says, and I quote ''I would rather be a skinny smoker than a fat bastard who doesn't smoke'' unquote.
He's entitled to his opinion and I won't force my opinion on him.
Stopping smoking is a very personal thing...people don't like to be dictated to, usually has the opposite effect in my experience.

Anyone who is reading this and is thinking of giving up or already has...good luck to you.
If I can to this...anyone can.

26 weeks without cigarettes!!! Giving up/ stopping...it's all in them words.

2008-11-04T14:58:00.000-08:00

Well, I did originally intend for this blog to be a helpful and inspiring sort of blog. I don't think it has been really. More an account of my personal struggle to stop smoking...

Since stopping, I have informed two family doctors at the local surgery of this fact at appointments.
I fully expected a pat on the back and genuine pleasure on their part...but was quite disappointed with their response.

After years and years of visiting the doctors and having to be subjected to their frowns and obvious disapproval of my most awful habit, and dentists, and the hospital etc, I felt quite ''flat'' after telling them my good news.

I hinted to them to document the amazing feat in my medical notes, something like ''Marie Ellen has finally stopped smoking after all these years of nagging...hip hip hoorah!''.
I don't think that happened...sigh.

I haven't written this to be negative in any way, just noting my observations.

The title of this post says ''it's all in them words'' and I believe it is.

I try and avoid the phrase ''I've given up smoking'' and instead say ''I've stopped''.
This is because, saying ''I've given up'' makes me feel deprived. Like I've stopped doing something I enjoyed...and I have. I feel very deprived. There is no point lying and saying otherwise.
But I find it more positive and helpful to say ''I've stopped''.

I think I will be one of these ex-smokers, who will always miss it. I know I will.
I like the smell and the taste of it. That's a fact. I am drawn to where the smokers hang out...like a sheep, I follow them but don't participate. Not becuase I don't get the urge, but because I know that ''just the one'' will lead to a trip to the shop to purchase a pack...oh no... I can't risk that happening.

So...I am persevering. I know I will never be truly offended by smokers as I know a lot of people are, and rightly so, but I won't be joining their ranks.

I was one of them for a long time and thrived amongst them...

I was so looking forward to the day I could write ''I feel fantastic since stopping smoking'' but that day hasn't arrived yet unfortunately. I haven't given up on it though. Maybe I am just being impatient. The thought that I have lessened the risks to my health keeps me going but it would be nice to reach that point, like the girl I met on the bus, who was bursting with health and vitality after three months of stopping.

We are all different though I suppose...

Please feel free to leave your comments on anything I've written so far. It's always good to share experiences.

As far as the weight gain...well, I have at long last stopped gaining, but can't for the life of me shift any of it either.I have put on a total of 20 pounds in 26 weeks...jeepers!!! The average weight gain is said to be 4-10 pounds.

I have a lot of hard work ahead of me to shift it and get back to my ideal weight.
I will write an update when I have managed to lose at least something...arghhhhh!!!

Over and out...

No cigarettes for 5 months...but heading towards obesity!!!

2008-09-22T02:59:00.000-07:00

Well, it will be 5 months this Thursday, since I smoked my last cigarette. Yes, it's a positive and healthy achievement...but why is it that am I not celebrating?

Because, week after week, I have put more and more weight on!!!
It could be said I have over indulged in the food department and that would be true for the first couple of months, but not for the last couple.

When I stopped smoking I weighed, 11 stone 5 pounds which was my ideal weight for height, a weight I have maintained for 4 years.
Now, today, I weigh 12 stone and 12 pounds!!!

I am so disappointed that this has happened. It has been really difficult to stop smoking, and now, one health risk has replaced another. People may argue that it's a risk worth taking,(putting on vasts amount of weight quickly!) but in my eyes, it is depressing me and has started to really get to me.

Now I understand why people go back to smoking after this has happened to them.

I have read lots and lots about people's experiences(on various blogs)after they have stopped. Most people do gain a few pounds, maybe 5 to 10, but not this much.I do not fall into this ''not too bad a weight increase category''.

My friend who gave up at the same time has had the same thing happen to her.

The weight just kind of balloons and keeps going, week after week.

Cigarettes do suppress the appetite, of that I've no doubt. When I smoked, I did miss meals and I never had hunger pangs...never. Now, I do, and it's uncomfortable, particularly when I don't want to eat because I know it will equal instant weight gain.

I dread to think what would be happening if I didn't exercise as much as I do.
Even with the increase in exercise, on top of what I normally do...I am still gaining weight.

It makes no difference whether I am in work or off. I have been on holiday for 2 weeks just now and that

A lot of people have said that it eventually evens out. The weight gains stops and the metabolism returns to normal. When is ''eventually'' I ask myself, whilst grinding my teeth at the same time!!!!

What else am I doing to address this weight gain...apart from jumping off the nearest cliff?

Well, I am going to go and see my doctor and explain the situation. I do feel quite bloated a lot of the time so I will have this checked out and just tell him it like it is.
Maybe he will give me a diet sheet or something!!!
Then he'll ask about exercise...well at least I am OK there.

I have replaced my sugar filled tea and coffee for herbal teas, well for the most part...the reason being, that I have been drinking more tea and coffee and in doing so, having extra calories in the sugar added.

I have my ''5'' a day anyway...so it's a case of resisting the not so healthy food temptation.
I don't drink alcohol very often, so no weight gain worries there.

Sorry to offload all this on you all, but it's how I'm feeling right now.

People say ''I bet you're feeling great Marie, now you've stopped''. I think ''have you got 2 hours to spare so I can explain just how ''not great'' I'm feeling''.

I know this isn't an encouraging blog post for anyone out there considering stopping, weighing(scuse the pun) up the pros and cons. But I always promised I would be honest on my ''Smokeless Ellen'' blog.
Besides, giving up is a personal experience, and different for everyone.

I suppose I should list all the benefits of giving up just to spur me on...but right now I am fed up...and my dominating thought is ''these jeans are damn tight on me today''.

So, I will love and leave you all and continue my rant as I go on yet another 6 mile hike.

Have put a pound on for every week I've stopped smoking(16 weeks now)...not impressed!!!

2008-08-26T15:12:00.000-07:00

Well, I really am not impressed. It's been 16 weeks now since I've stopped smoking. I am more than pleased that I have given up, but really frustrated that I have put a pound on each and every week since stopping. Jeepers, if I carry on at this rate I will be more of a health risk than I was as a smoker.
My sister gave up but has gone back to smoking and the weight she gained has gone...phew.
I may have eaten more than usual9but not major amounts more) but I have increased my exercise to almost double. This does not seem to have worked at all but I dare not reduce the exercise as I know I will put on even more.

I have no doubt now that smoking suppresses the appetite. As a smoker I could easily go all day with no food at all, just hot drinks and cigarettes...whereas now, I have hunger pangs as soon as a meal is overdue by only a short time.I know going all day without food is not sensible...but gaining weight at this rate is not right.

Arghhhhhhhh...I worked so hard to maintain my healthy ideal weight and now it's all gone out of the window.

I dread going to the weighing machine now. I left it a month, and sure enough, there were the 4 pounds, one for each week since last month when I got weighed...on Monday just gone.I've started swimming and have been to the gym several times over the last fortnight, but to no avail.

I don't mean to discourage people from giving up and staying stopped but this is really disheartening...when I am at a stage when I should be celebrating...I am depressed and feeling sluggish with extra weight to carry.

I sincerely hope, that next time I post here, I have something good to report, because right now...this sucks.

Finished the NRT...what now???

2008-08-06T03:10:00.000-07:00

Well, I have reached the 3 month/12 week mark and have completed the nicotine replacement therapy programme. I did it all by the book, and now have signed off at the pharmacy where I was attending.

So...I am completely nicotine free...

I would like to say I feel wonderful...but I don't, but that's not to say I won't.

It is still early days and I am hopeful that I will continue to feel healthier as time goes on. My breathing is a lot better, no wheeze anymore but have a lot of phlegm. Just my body, getting rid of the years of abuse I reckon...eeww.

I have this extra 7 pounds that I can't get rid of, despite increasing my exercise and stopping the sweets!

I still eat the same amount of relatively healthy food I did prior to stopping smoking, so this extra weight gain is bugging me.And I eat breakfast now which was a bit hit and miss before.

The only person who I have spoken to who hasn't gained weight after stopping is my guy Richie!!! Lucky for him. He's lean...no fat on him at all.

Well, I am not going to try and not focus on the negatives. The positives are far more in number.

This is an honest blog, and yes, I still have very strong cravings. Last night they were so bad that I had to take my dog out for a good walk. Anything rather than give in to temptation.It does work...the exercise. Within a few steps, the cravings subside.

I know these cravings will continue...so I am bracing myself for more months of this...if not years.

Jeepers, I wish I had never started...don't we all???

Good luck to anyone else out there who is quitting...

Smiles....

No cigarettes,too many sweets and a few extra pounds...(9 weeks)

2008-07-10T01:12:00.000-07:00

And I mean pounds in the weight sense, not just the monetary...ha.

I did have an idea that I had put some weight on since stopping smoking but just let it ride...until yesterday that is when I went to get weighed. Eeeww.

All the bags of barley sugar I have been munching my way through these last nine weeks...well, they have got to go.

Despite keeping up my exercise routine, even increasing it, I have put 6 pounds on...and I am not happy. I have maintained my ideal weight for two years and that's how I want things to stay.

So...I am not going to buy these family size bags of sweets...at all.I wouldn't say I had increased my general food intake, just these sweets.

Luckily I haven't hit the chocolate. I love chocolate, don't get me wrong but once I get a taste for it, well, you know how it is.

I really do need to keep an eye on my weight as these things have a tendency to creep up on you. Especially when you are so focused on staying stopped...smoking that is.

I am pleased I've quit but putting on weight kind of takes the shine off the whole thing.

Hmmmm...I will write an update soon and hopefully have got rid of some of my excess baggage...

Until my next post...

7 weeks with no cigarettes and feeling better...

2008-06-26T09:59:00.001-07:00

Well, I honestly didn't think that stopping smoking had made a difference...not physically, but at last I am starting to notice more things.

Today was quite cool outside weatherwise, and usually my hands are numb when it's cold. Not any more. I was walking to work and noticed that both my hands were quite warm and the circulation so much improved.

Also, I walked around the Orme mountain again on Tuesday and found the hills even easier. No wheezing or breathlessness. What a bonus...as I do so much walking. It's much more pleasurable now and there's no guilt at having a cigarette after a walk. I used to feel that every time. Doing all that exercise and finishing it off with a smoke...eeww.

The money I have been saving has been spent on some euros for my youngest daughter who is going on holiday to Spain next month. This week's money has been spent on a new mp3 player for me...ha. My other one is on its last legs.

In the morning I am coughing a little, but I think that's just my lungs clearing out.
I just hope they recover from the years of abuse.

I still have really strong cravings and think about cigarettes frequently through the day but I am staying strong and resisting the urge, as hard as it is sometimes.

I am still munching my way through barley sugar sweets and orange ice lollies but as long as I keep walking I can't keep the weight off...all being well.

So, I'm signing out now until the next post. Good luck to anyone reading this who is trying to quit.

Cigarette-free for 5 weeks...phew. The battle continues.

2008-06-13T14:14:00.000-07:00

Ha, I think this is a private little blog as I have hardly had any comments but I don't mind as it's helping me get through this.

I have been on quite a few blogs recently, blogs where the author is documenting their stopping smoking journey.

I would be inclined to call it a ''battle'' because that's what it feels like. An ongoing daily battle to resist the temptation of picking up a cigarette, lighting it and smoking it.

Stress is definately my biggest trigger...but life seems to be one big ''stressful situation'' for almost everyone so I had better get used to it...

It's always a good idea to focus on the positive..............in the physical sense...

I can actually take a deep breath in now without the persistant wheeze that was always there prior to stopping.

I've noticed an improvement in my general circulation.

When climbing hills I actually feel the oxygen infuse my body and reach the parts it's meant to...and it's not such a struggle to get to the top of the hill.

I can actually lie-in bed in the morning instead of dragging myself downstairs and outside for that first desperate smoke of the day. One of many. Not to mention the accompanying cough.

Psychologically...

Before giving up I exercised as much as I do now but always felt a bit hypocritical, walking ten miles and then lighting up as soon as I got home. Now, I feel like I can reap the full benefits of exercise...I think smokers or ex-smokers who may read this will know what I mean.

I feel like a great weight has been lifted off my shoulders since stopping. Those niggling thoughts that I reckon most smokers experience, of the damage it is doing on a daily basis have lessened. As I've said before, there has been damage done and I can't turn back time but I can prevent further damage from happening.

So...until the next time...I will persevere.

Over and out.

Phew...almost at the one month mark!!! and still having superhero dreams.

2008-06-01T14:09:00.000-07:00

Well, it's almost a month since I smoked my last cigarette...it feels longeer but then I kind of expected that. On Wednesday I will be dropping down to the lower strength 14mg patches. I really want to try and avoid having a patch on at night for the rest of the programme because it's pretty exhausting being a superhero and doing death-defying feats all night every night!!!

I was talking to a neighbour earlier and she has been having the same so has stopped using the 24 hour patch. Her dreams are a lot more disturbing, about ghosts and she feels like things of the night are prodding her...eeww.

I will see what the pharmacist says when I go.

I would really like to say that I feel physically better but I haven't noticed much change as yet. The only thing I have noticed, which is something on the outside, is that my skin is clearer and the tiny red veins I have always had on my face have lessened. People have commented how much clearer my skin looks, so that's good. The poison has stopped going into my insides, so that can only be a positive. Oh yes, and my nails have grown and are in much better condition.

I have always been a little dizzy and done things back to front, but that's just me. I have started reading ''Allen Carr's Easy Way To Stop Smoking''. I believe the idea is that you read the book whilst still smoking and give up on completion.

I was wondering whether to carry on reading it but saw a paragraph that says ''keep reading, even if you have already stopped''...so I am. I'm a third of the way through it in just two nights. It has already completely changed my attitude to smoking. It is a fascinating book and well worth having a look at.

My auntie is coming tomorrow for a weeks holiday and she smokes like a trooper, just like I did. I have put my only ashtray outside in the garden and she is welcome to smoke out there.

My house smells so much fresher for the first time in a long time and I want it to stay that way...ha.
Gosh, I think of all the places I have polluted over the years...shame on me.

Well, until the next time.
Over and out.

Something you said...

2008-05-26T11:45:00.000-07:00

I just happened to click on an old post from a couple of years ago and found this post from Richie. It was when we very first started communicating.
I want to put it here because it is so relevant.
Gosh, he hardly knew me, yet he knew me so well!!! Work that one out.

Here is an extract of what he wrote...

I wasn't ready to let it go. As much as it kicked my butt, I had an emotional attachment to it. So, it kicked my butt many more times. There just comes a time when you're ready. You know when your ready when not only do you think about it, you start planning..come up with a game plan. We all can see the big picture, depending what our challenge is, otherwise there wouldn't be a second thought about it. How to get there, what to do if we get side tracked, and support are very important.
I haven't drank in many years. It was tough in the begining, but what challenge isn't? I applied the same thing to smoking. Smoking was harder. It never complicated my life like alcohol did, and it was something I felt I "needed."
Well, I did. Until that time comes when you feel you "need to quit", don't fight with it. It's the funniest thing to say " I have an emotional attachment to my cigarettes" , but it's so the truth. We will know when we are ready to 'let go', because that's what it is. The tragedy is, sometimes we aren't ready, which simply means, we won't stop. It's a fact. So many people struggle trying to do the right thing for themselves, and if they just aren't ready, become more miserable.

No one can tell you when you're ready, Ellen, to stop smoking. However, we'll be there for you regardless, when and if you do. From what I see, we all have one thing in common: perseverance.

Just think of all the things in your life that frustrated you or that you figured would never happen, and you did it. It's so easy to forget, sometimes, but in reality, we are strong people, and if we set are minds to it, can accomplish anything:)

Thanks Richie...I luv ya.

Day 14...2 weeks.

2008-05-22T14:19:00.000-07:00

Well, I went to the chemist again yesterday and am to have another 2 weeks on the 21mg/24 hour patch before I start to reduce the patch strength.
I blew into the monitor and it was reading ''1'', which is as low as it gets.
I do feel encouraged by that but have spent the last few days worrying about all the damage I have caused with this highly addictive habit, over the years.

I know I can't undo the past but it's been on my mind.

To keep things positive though, I am now a non-smoker.

I am taking things slowly in my attempt to increase my fitness levels. Every ache and pain I have...I think is something bad...so I'm not going to over-do things.

I would like to take up cycling and swimming again but am going to wait until I feel ''healthier''.

So far, and I know it's early days, I haven't really noticed much improvemnet in my general health but that will hopefully come in time.

I have noticed however, that my house smells fresher and it's nice to breathe in lungs full of clean sea air instead of the pollution I was bresthing in from cigarettes.

So...it's on with the show. A stressful week-end at work ahead and ''rising above the need to smoke''.

I am finding that my walking helps with the continual cravings and in keeping my weight in check.

I was reading that as a result of stopping smoking, anxiety can occur. Ha, I have that anyway so no change there.

Well, until the next time...goodbye for now.

Day 6...

2008-05-14T13:27:00.000-07:00

So...it was off to the chemist this morning to get my second week's supply of patches.
I arrived at 9.00a.m.and had to blow into the carbon monoxide monitor before receiving the prescription. My first reading prior to stopping was 20 and this morning it had dropped to 5. It was the encouragement I needed...as I've been struggling thus far.

Physically today, I've felt really rough with flu like symptoms and the shakes. Other people have mentioned that this can happen after the first week or two so I'm just going to have to weather the storm.

I've had varied responses from people when I've I've told them I've started the cessation programme. No names mentioned.
Here are some of them...ha.
1. That's great...you've inspired me to work on my health issues.
2. What's the bloody point, this late in the day!
3. I can't believe you've gone more than an hour without a fag! That's amazing.
4. No way!!!
5. Keep going...you can do it.

I am increasing the walking, to keep any weight gain at bay and as distraction...especially when I get the urge to relapse...which is several times a day.

So, that's all from me now. I am going to see if I can find any more blogs similar to mine and see how they are getting along and how it's affecting them.

Smiles...through gritted teeth.

Day 5...

2008-05-13T14:33:00.000-07:00

And so it goes on...the cravings from hell!!! Yesterday was the worst day so far and today is not much better. Mind you, I am one patch short as one came off after I got it wet so I am off to the clinic tomorrow morning to get my next prescription a day early..eeww.

The make of patches I'm using are ''Nicotinell'' and I had the bright idea of using a different brand of the same strength...''Niquitin Clear''. Not a good idea after all as I discovered I was allergic to them. I think it might be the adhesive. Well, it was itching and burning so I had to take it off!!!

Oh well, it was worth a try.

Tomorrow I will have my usual brand so hopefully I can continue as I have been doing.

I can't say I have noticed any physical changes in myself so far but it is still early days. Right now, I wish someone would knock me out and wake me up in a couple of months when all these cravings have gone or at least eased off. No such luck.

I do seem to have developed this ''what can I munch next'' hearty appetite. Ha.

So I need to be careful, as it's so easy to put weight on and very difficult to lose it, especially the older I seem to get.

I feel like I have been at this for ages and yet it's not even a week...eeww.

My friend Angela seemed to have none of this. She smoked more than me, started the patches nearly three months ago and sailed through. Gosh...how lucky is that? But I am pleased for her as I wouldn't wish this on anyone to be honest.

I am still using my ''pipe'' and so far have managed to gnaw at it rather than suck on it...ha.

So, I think I have to breathe in the carbon monoxide monitor tomorrow and see what the reading is. Hopefully lower than when I started 'cos I really haven't been cheating and that does surprise me!

Until my next post...over and out.

Day 2...

2008-05-10T15:14:00.000-07:00

Gosh...this is so hard. I really can't imagine having these mad cravings for weeks on end...eeww. I worked a ten hour shift today and it was busy and stressful but I got through it without a single cigarette. It's a victory...ha. I felt like waving a flag at the end of my shift.

Now I have got home and am a little more relaxed, one would think that smoking wasn't at the forefront of my mind but I am constantly thinking about the taste, smell and even the ''feel'' of a cigarette. Oh joy!!!

I have my inhalator which releases a hit of nicotine when inhaled and it burns the back of the throat...I call it my ''pipe''. I've noticed that I have more mucus than usual in my throat so I think it's the pipe that's causing it...oh well, I will persevere.

I really have to change my habits too. First thing in the morning I have the worst cravings and after meals...that's not to say I should never eat, or wake up!!!!!

So this morning, instead of having a cup of tea(usually with 3 smokes), I got straight in the shower to try and break the habit that way, or make a start on it.

After meals is a difficult one, so I am thinking of ways to distract myself or replace the cigarette.

On the positive side, I got great pleasure in coming out of the shop I always visit on my way to work, with a magazine, a sandwich and no cigarettes...thus making me £5.50 better off.

This is not going to be an easy ride, that much I do know.

My friend Ang seemed to stop ''just like that'' with nowhere near as much a song and dance as me. I suppose we are all different though.

I am not going to avoid situations where people are smoking, as avoidance isn't the answer...but I will ask people not to smoke in my home...that's a fair request.

I haven't started biting my nails just yet!!!!Or pulling my hair out!!!!

There's a long way to go...I just want to get there.

Ellen here...signing off, grinding her teeth as she does so.

Day One...

2008-05-09T01:27:00.000-07:00

Well, the time has come and the decision has been made. The cigarettes have got to go.

Better late than never, as the old saying goes.

I had an appointment yesterday at the chemist, with the lady pharmacist and have some nicotine patches and an inhalator, to help me along. I do realise that at the end of the day it's down to me, but I have accepted these products willingly as I know I'll need all the help I can get!!!

I have smoked for so long now, it's hard for me to imagine a life without cigarettes but I have come to the conclusion that, unless I try, I will never know. I have been smoking since I was approx: 15 years old, about 20 a day and have only ever stopped twice in my life...with my two pregnancies!!!

How stupid of me to start again...I know.

I was warned that the 24 hour patch I have, would keep me awake, or wake me early and give me vivid dreams...and that was correct. I woke at 05.00a.m. in a hot sweat after having the most bizarre dreams...!!!! One of them was a death defying ride in a helicopter...jeepers! I won't go into detail.

So today MAY 9th, is my first official, cigarette free day.

When I decided to lose weight, I used my ''Just Keep Walking'' blog and it helped a lot, so I thought I would use the same strategy with the smoking.

All I can think about right now, is the need for a cigarette, and the fact I can't have one.
Oh well, it's only the first day. I've a long way to go but am trying to focus on the benefits.I blew into this carbon monoxide monitor yesterday and that scared the hell out of me, so every time I feel like a sneaky ''puff'', I am going to focus on that!

I am hoping to keep this blog up bit more updated than I did the weight loss one.

So, it's off to work for me now, the ultimate challenge...lots of stress and co-workers who smoke.

Be strong Ellen...be strong.

Over and out...